First Exploration in Totemism

As this is my first post on this blog, it makes sense for me to begin at a beginning.

I sat down to meditate last night- not something I often achieve without falling asleep – and began my inward adventure.

Before I begin, I will explain that the technique I used was borrowed from a friend of mine who has found her own totems after a few tries. I began researching about totems and spirit animals in order to find out roughly what to expect, and what animals I may potentially come across.

I began in a neutral setting that I could move from, which for me turned out to be a large open desert of golden sand and incredibly hot sun. At the time I was wearing a fuzzy sweater, but it felt like the sun directly hit my skin and I couldn’t even feel my clothes. I got the impression I was only wearing a small tank top. In the distance I could hear the call of some bird of prey (I thought an eagle, but my friend suggested it more likely the call of a red kite). I assume my inspiration for this place came from my journeys to Egypt and Arizona where we were surrounded by large openness.

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I began looking for a hole or a place somewhere for me to travel into a new part of myself. This I found the most difficult, where holes and dens would appear but I couldn’t fit through them or they would completely collapse. In the end, I found a large dark warren in the side of a huge rock face made of sandstone.

I was able to fit into this hole quite easily and crawled through it. It was a very short distance and I soon found myself inside a large wet cave made of black rock with great blue crystals growing out of every crevice. It was much cooler there, though I didn’t feel cold, and the air seemed clean and slightly salty. It was very much like something out of an RPG.

While I looked around, something flew past my face, though I didn’t have time to confront it. This could potentially be one of my totems, or a totem who lived to where I was. I have reason to believe it was a type of bat, though will have to return in later meditations.

While following the sudden movement of this creature, another animal caught my eye. In one nook in the cave was a white cave crab. Very specifically it was the species that was found dwelling within Mount Bosavi in New Guinea in the documentary The Lost Land of the Volcano.

I had completely forgotten that these little guy existed, so I was shocked to see a totem like this. However, before I could do anything more, the small crab waved a claw at me as if to say, “go away, leave me alone!” and I was shaken out of my meditation.

I’ve made myself a list of totems to visit in future, and I’ve taken to documenting animals I interact with and animals who visit me in my dreams. I will post the next attempt at contacting my totems soon.

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