Reality and Me

If you’ve been reading my work for as long as I’ve been writing here, thank you for sticking around during all the long periods of nothing. Managing my life and being able to write original content to post seems to be something I’ve been incapable of balancing. In fact the way I have been managing my life over the past few years has been massively dominating most of my focus and energy – if you have read my previous post about my mental health, you’d understand why this might be. If you haven’t then here’s a tldr: I’m suicidal.

But there’s a bit more to it than that, and it’s come from long years of mental and emotional abuse from someone I trusted and possibly other things I do not fully understand yet. This is about my relationship with reality, what I struggle with in terms of what is real and what I deal with that I know isn’t.

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Word of the Month: Constellate

If you imagine a constellation, you see a group of stars gathered to form a picture (or at least some lines that someone told you looks like a man and his dogs). Constellate derives from the Latin ‘con’ meaning together, and ‘stellatus’ meaning arranged like stars. It describes any gathering or group that has come together.

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Word of the Month: Labarum

Remember Remember the 5th of November…. But what about September?

I’m not entirely sure what happened to my September post. I have memories of writing it, so perhaps I closed the page before actually posting it and didn’t get around to checking. So for this situation we shall give September the word ‘barmecide’ as though the whole month was some horrible dream and we’ve forgotten it all now.

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Word of the Month: Effable

Most people know of ‘ineffable’ but it’s counterpart ‘effable’ is very rarely used. This is likely due to the fact that it’s not too common to sit down and say “I know exactly the words to describe this” and for it to have a lot of meaning. However, I can say with certainty that it definitely had its uses this month.

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Word of the Month: Frondeur

Oririn: French.  Literally ‘slinger’. From ‘The Frond’. Used to describe political rebels in the French civil wars between 1648-1693.

It would be nice if everyone could collectively upheave all corrupt government and replace them with people who actually care about other people’s well-being. It would be nice if everyone had basic respect for everyone else in the world. It would be nice if we could collectively make massive changes to make the world the safe place it needs to be.

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Word of the Month: Vagarious

From what I’ve observed, May has either been a very good month to people,or a very bad one.In my personal life alone I feel that everything has waited until May to reach a peak level of ‘particularly bad’. For the general population, it has definitely been a busy (or hectic) one. For people in education, certainly this month is a hellscape of exams, deadlines and studying, but somehow even after graduation it manages to leave a lingering need to be rushing to things.

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Word of the Month: Quixotic

Given the fact I thought the world was supposed to be ending during March, the chaos brought into the world during April should have me digging my grave right now. Except I’m a little bit past that stage now and I’m desperately hoping we can turn this car around before we hit the metaphorical wall. In my idealistic, unlikely dream-world this happens in June and the rest of the year becomes a lovely sunny paradise.

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Word of the Month: Doorway Effect

Or perhaps if I were to really cling to the singular noun: doorway. Or, effect. Unfortunately neither of those make for particularly interesting or exciting titles, nor very accurate ones to what I wanted to talk about. So please bear with the Words of the Month this time.

I’m sure everyone at some point in their life has walked into a room with some intention of doing something, only to completely forget once they were there. Or opened a tab on their browser and forgotten what they were going to look up. Or unlocked their phone on impulse of doing something only to stare blankly at their background and assorted apps wondering what it was they were about to do. This phenomenon is known as the Doorway Effect, and it took me over a year to successfully look it up without forgetting what I was looking up in the first place. It then took leaving the month for me to actually remember to write about it. Oops.

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